There is a mountain of unfinished resolutions behind me. Luckily, I’ve let that disappointment go and simply accepted that they just can’t all get done. Some were too big. Others, too boring. Others, well…everyone is lazy sometimes.

Maybe, there just wasn’t enough momentum behind the resolution. Not enough caring. Not enough personal desire to change. Adopting a new discipline is hard. It can be worth the effort (Look at the pounds go! Look at my business flourish!). But without real passion behind your resolutions and dreams, it seems astronomically unlikely that they will ever happen.

This year, ask yourself: How do you want to feel? What if instead of accomplishing something specific, you focused every day on feeling more joyful? More ecstatic? More spiritual? More grounded? With that kind of resolution, your day-to-day activities can change dramatically. You won’t be derailed by the unexpected intrusions of life, you simply refocus and incorporate it all into your plan for happiness. Every day, remember, life is really about being happy. And every day, try again to take yourself closer to your joy.

Happiness is as easy as a little gratitude. Check out this hilarious excerpt from Conan O’Brien. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll think about it…

This video came from Usually Barefoot Meg - lots of comments to peruse there as well. For more information on this comedian, check out the wiki for Louis CK.

I was dead, then alive.
Weeping, then laughing.

The power of love came into me,
and I became fierce like a lion,
then tender like the evening star.

He said, ‘You’re not mad enough.
You don’t belong in this house.’

I went wild and had to be tied up.
He said, ‘Still not wild enough
to stay with us!’

I broke through another layer
into joyfulness.

He said, ‘Its not enough.’
I died.

He said, ‘You are a clever little man,
full of fantasy and doubting.’

I plucked out my feathers and became a fool.
He said, ‘Now you are the candle
for this assembly.’

But I’m no candle. Look!
I’m scattered smoke

He said, ‘You are the Sheikh, the guide.’
But I’m not a teacher. I have no power.

He said, ‘You already have wings.
I cannot give you wings.’

But I wanted his wings.
I felt like some flightless chicken.

Then new events said to me,
‘Don’t move. A sublime generosity is
coming towards you.’

And old love said, ‘Stay with me.’

I said, ‘I will.’

You are the fountain of the sun’s light.
I am a willow shadow on the ground.
You make my raggedness silky.

The soul at dawn is like darkened water
that slowly begins to say Thank you, thank you.

Then at sunset, again, Venus gradually
Changes into the moon and then the whole nightsky.

This comes of smiling back
at your smile.

The chess master says nothing,
other than moving the silent chess piece.

That I am part of the ploys
of this game makes me
amazingly happy.
-Rumi, translated by Coleman Barks

Aliveness is only the beginning! And laughter is one of the great signs of that. I see it as exhilaration really, dancing and spinning in the sheer beauty of joy and laughter. And then comes the madness - the madness of divine irrationality perhaps - a joy that is truly incomprehensible to those who are not in it. Who can truly understand surrender so great, so huge? And in this poem, even dieing is not the end, but another beginning.

What do you think?

Ever found yourself in a situation where you desperately wanted something far out of reach? A better body. An answer from God. Your relationship to mend. A happier life.

You want it so badly that all you can think about is having it. Everything else falls to the side – including your joy – and you live in a state of near panic, depression, anger, hope, and disappointment all the time.

But as good manifesters, we feel we must cling to the thought all the time. To keep the doubts that taint our prayers out of the mix – out of our minds. To make sure we don’t miss the answer. We curse ourselves when we forget to stay focused. And ironically, I think that clinging prevents us from actually finding the solutions we seek.  

This year, when making those resolutions, I propose another option, one much less distracting and much more open. The subtlety is in Attention vs. Intention.

Attention is conscious thought, all the time. It is the thing in the forefront of your mind, and holds the danger of distracting us from the present moment.

Intention is a moment of extreme focus – as much as you can muster – where you put your plea out to the Universe. Perhaps you do this in the morning or evening or the beginning of the year. Perhaps you write it down. Or post it on your wall. Then, let it go. Forget the specifics. Let it drift and sing on the wings of angels all day long. Let your soul decide how to best manifest your desires. Get out of your own way!

This is where Attention comes in. In the midst of surrendering to all of your possibilities, living your beautiful life, watch for the signs. Books and people and events and encounters that answer your prayers of the morning, or from last year, or that time when you were seven and wanted a pony. Anything can happen in that place of openness, and almost always it is unexpected, emerging from sources you wouldn’t possibly have considered.

In other words, stay in the present, focusing on the sheer joy of your existence. Your prayers, after all, were offered this morning. Trust that you have been heard and allow yourself to see the answer!

Then, if you want, the next morning or evening or whenever, bring yourself back to those specific Intentions. Remember and refresh them in your mind. Then offer them up again…

Questions? Feel free to comment or email.

Have a beautiful day.

The idea that peace is conditional, depending on certain needs being met - being loved and appreciated, financially secure, well rested, having good work - is eventually replaced by the realization that the moment you’re experiencing right now is the only one, and it can’t be changed.
- Joan Borysenko

Joy, peace, love. Everything we want and can feel can be felt right now, enjoyed right now. The present is all there is. Don’t put off your joy.

Have a delicious day,
Ephraim

Recently, I was featured in The Coloradoan, a Northern Colorado newspaper. The weekly column, penned by Jan Waterman, offers thoughts and perspectives designed to explore our spiritual selves. Her questions helped me to rearticulate what I am trying to accomplish in my practice - and what I hope all of you can discover - joyful, vibrant, ecstatic living.

I’ve reprinted the interview below, and I’d encourage you to check out some of Jan’s other pieces. I particularly liked “Picture exercise”, not only because it happened in my workshop, but because it poetically captures how reliving joyful moments from the body can bring that same joy into the present moment. I also like “Look beyond the problem to find the solution”, discussing the idea that no problem can be solved at the level of the problem and featuring a great quote by Einstein “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”

Positive emotions lead to transformation

Ephraim Mallery calls himself a transformation artist.

Indeed, he is a truly unique and effective practitioner of the healing arts. Mallery’s more than a massage therapist and not just a counselor. I asked him to talk about his work.

What exactly do you do?

“I combine emotional and spiritual transformation with bodywork. My idea is to rewrite your body canvas. To help you find joy or peace or excitement starting with your body and moving from there.’’

How do you do that?

“I listen and pay attention to what is needed. I completely surrender to the flow of the process. I open up totally. I offer love and compassion without judgment.’’

How are you different from a counselor?

“Touch is one of my most important elements. I see my work as a true mind, body, emotion and spirit experience. Words are mostly a communication form for the mind. They make it difficult to convey the experience of the body. I help people realize that the intention behind touch is the most important aspect of touch. To touch people with love or safety or joy or any of those positive emo-tions can truly help them transform.’’

Tell me more about that.

“Whatever affects one aspect of you also affects everything else — if you’re sad your body and mind will reflect that. You won’t think as clearly. Your muscles will ache. Your posture will change. If your body hurts, your emotions will follow. If your spirit is lifted, you feel more energized in all aspects of your life. Feeling and experiencing something through your senses and through your imagination is the most potent way to change. All the metaphysical evidence points to the idea that you are what you focus on. So why not focus on joy? On what makes you feel alive? And anything that stands in the way of that joy needs to be let go.’’

Can you describe a typical session?

“Every session is different. And everyone is different. I try to let go all my ideas about the person and just meet them with my hands, reflecting their hopes and joys and intentions back to them and creating a safe space to feel those things and let all the rest go. I go with the flow of creativity, using all of my experience and knowledge and tools and inspiration and humility to help people find their joy, without judgment. I offer love and let it do the work. And then I get out of the way. I feel like I am watching it all happen, and I am amazed and grateful to see what hap-pens.’’

So you help people find joy?

“Joy is a practice. Life still throws all the curve balls and tragedies, all the reasons to keep living angry, sad, stressed, guilty. The practice is to keep the focus on the joy, keep feeling it, keep returning to it, keep feeling grateful for it, and keep giving it to everyone you meet. That is where the transformation begins. I believe that is the magic. Because the person I am working with finds and feels the magic within themselves. 

As always, feel free to post your comments below or email me.

Have a beautiful day.