I sometimes fall victim to Toxic Option Syndrome. I think it is most commonly associated with shopping – so many brands and stores and colors and sizes. So many that I stand in a stupor and buy nothing. For more minutes than I care to admit.
And the in-store thing is really a minor event. In the end, who really cares which one? But when it comes to life decisions, it’s a different story. What’s the next step in my business or my career or my relationship? What is my life path? Where should I focus my creativity? And if I inch my toe into one idea, what about all those others that come flooding in? What if I waste my valuable time? Or my money? And this whole thing is a dead end? Then what have I done to myself?
Can’t I do all of them? I’m a multitasker! I’ll just do these seven projects and learn to draw and launch this class, and, and…
And so, the obvious choice is just like the store. Stand in a stupor and hope the answer comes – only in this case it can last for days, months, years, lifetimes. And standing there still doesn’t tell me the RIGHT one. Surely there is a right answer!? (as I glare suspiciously at the heavens.)
Honestly, I don’t find myself in that place as often as I used to, thanks to some advice I received a few years ago.
“Just DO something. Anything. Pick one and go!”
“But…” I stammered. And was interrupted immediately.
“No buts! This isn’t permanent. But you have to ACT, or there’s nothing to work with. A little action in any direction gives the universe something to build on. And that way, you might be able to avoid a cosmic club to the side of the head.”
That didn’t sound good.
So, I did something. Not something I was really excited about, but it was an opportunity knocking. After awhile, there were more knocks on the door. Some literal, some profitable, some very exciting. And it keeps happening, as long as I’m putting in some energy or motion or action. Yes, you can coast for awhile, but it takes some care and feeding to see it grow. I was amazed that it actually worked. And continues to work over and over.
So get out there and just do it! Stop thinking about the possibilities and move those ideas into tangible creation. You can even set a timeline for yourself. Say, three months. Or a month. Even a couple weeks of concerted effort. If nothing happens, or you don’t like it after than time, then try something else.
See, it wasn’t so bad.
I received this email from my client struggling with West Nile on her Flow Stretching practice (used with permission):
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As essential as it is for maintaining better movement, stretching doesn’t often make it into a daily routine. Most people want to…they just don’t know which stretch to do and how long and which routine to follow. Sure, getting to a yoga class can be great, but that would involve getting out of the house and at least an hour for the class. For all of those who feel lost on what to do, Flow Stretching is one of my favorite possibilities.
A friend of mine had this problem to the extreme. She had been doing yoga for years, until she found out she had cancer. With her strength fading and the pain increasing, she desperately needed to stretch. Only, she was too weak to do anything she had learned in yoga, much less make it out to a class.
She is, however, a woman of great resource. Abandoning everything she knew about specific stretches, she let her body lead the way, moving slowly, painfully, gracefully in whatever way felt the best. Steadily, her strength returned, and her movements became deeper and more flowing. She became more and more aware of what her body most needed, including a greater connection with her energy and her sensuality. Today (she believes in part to that greater awareness) her cancer is in remission.
I told that story to one of my clients who had an unfortunate encounter with West Nile and the resulting spinal meningitis. Even a year later, her hips and spine feel the effects, leaving her barely able to move some days. I encouraged her to try flow stretching, and she had similar results - including an increase in sensuality.
What a fabulous benefit! I imagine, the more you feel deeply into how your body wants to stretch, satisfying the need as you feel it, you can’t help but be more in tune with the sheer luxuriousness of the sensation. I watch my dog stretch in the morning, full out, full body stretch, his eyes closed…and then he’s ready to play for hours (pausing to stretch whenever he feels like it). I can’t help but wonder if stretching not only helps keep our muscles limber but also keeps our mind sharp, our emotions positive, our energy high and our sensual experience more delicious.
And it doesn’t have to be for an hour at a time. Even a few minutes here and there is enough, much like Meditation in a New York Minute. I often Flow Stretch between appointments, in the shower with the water pounding on my back, surreptitiously while walking the dog.
I do want to offer a couple rules of thumb while stretching - though as you stay in tune with your body, I don’t think you’ll have to worry nearly so much. These ideas are from the book Stretching by Bob Anderson (I highly recommend it).
1. Don’t bounce and Don’t stretch to the point of pain.
2. Start with an easy stretch - so you feel mild tension. Hold for 10-15 seconds. The tension should fade - if it doesn’t, then ease back.
3. Once the tension fades, move slightly deeper into a developmental stretch, to mild tension again. Hold for 10-15 seconds and let it fade again. If the tension increases at any time, you’ve gone too far!